Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Randomize
