I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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