he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it's great music for shaving your balls
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma