the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...