Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems