She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I FOUND THE LEGS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.