I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
