who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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