I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
