Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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