please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dear god my vagina.
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