I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
