made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
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He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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