The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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