the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
