Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
