She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
