I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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