How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
