I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
