i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
