So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
