Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
