no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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