Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Two words: blizzard sex
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
