I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
