I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
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I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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