you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT