here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name