i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.