Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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