he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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