I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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