Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
