Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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