I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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