I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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