My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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