I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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