mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
