i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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