if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.