if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.