Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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