And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
