my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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