Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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