Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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