i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
