I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize