Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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