...so i touched it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's shark week go big or go home
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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