Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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