So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
