You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
