I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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